First Things First

“Little girls are the nicest things that happen to people. They are born with a little bit of angel-shine about them, and though it wears thin sometimes there is always enough left to lasso your heart” -- Alan Beck

---

Dear Riddhie,

It was 1245 hrs IST, October 6, 2010 when my life changed forever. A moment before, I was this rash, care-free biker at heart and the next minute I turned into emotional jelly – mellowed down and sobered up almost magically.

You came in and filled a gaping hole in my being which I never knew, existed. All along the nine months that your mother held you in her womb, I had been more of a passive bystander in the beginning and gradually doubled up as her medical attendant and dietician.

Every time that we went to see a medic to get her routine check-ups and to know if you were doing well inside, I felt I was fulfilling a responsibility. There was little or no emotion involved. The tasks were crisp and clearly laid out – visit the doctor on the scheduled appointment, listen to a mechanical heart beat on the doppler, get the improvised prescription and come back with a similar or tailored set of instructions for your mother which I had the duty of supervising and ensuring that everything was duly followed.

Even on the initial scans that we got done and your toes and fingers were revealed and counted, I found it little hard to relate the monochrome blob on the screen to a living talking extension of my life.

And then it was this day exactly two months ago when you arrived. I had been by your mother’s side all through the night before and all along the day till the time you decided to make way into the world except for a few minutes right before your birth. The doctor thought you would still need 3 – 4 hours and I chose to step outside to grab a coffee and was actually on my way back to the room when your grandmother called up and told me that your mom was all ready to have you. I rushed back to see your mom and you arrived a few minutes later.

I stopped the nurse before she took you for your first sponge and looked at you for a brief moment. You were crying with all your might and I just lost sight and sense of everything else around for that second. You were brought back into my arms a couple of minutes later and to be honest I had little or no clue about how to hold you. I allowed the nurse to carry you a little longer and it was then that I took your very first picture.

The days ahead saw me go camera crazy and your mum and I would take turns to pose with you and capture your brief smiles and random movements. I guess by the time you would be ready to read this, you would have seen most of these pictures already. Just hope that you also get to see all the love and emotion behind each of these captures and the joy that you have brought us.

In days to come, I shall try and recapture moments from last 8 weeks and a little before and then would try and update this journal of yours on a regular basis. I am keeping this blog with public settings as of now and would let our friends and family send in their wishes and comments. There however, exists a rider for the readers and hopefully people shall be sensitive and intelligent enough to adhere to the norms.

I conclude this first post with all my blessings and love to you. As you learn to control your motor functions in days to come, I shall try and juggle between my work and other chores to keep pace with all your stories for this little blog of ours.

Love you.