| “Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends…” |
Dear Riddhie,
Friendship is an important lesson and integral relationship in life. I am sure as you grow up, begin your formal education and find your place in the world you would make many friends. There would be few who would stand by you and support you in your times of need and there would be others who would get you in trouble and drag you down with them. However, every person you meet would enrich your experience and will help you become worldly wise.
Few days ago I happened to hear someone at work talk about how his youngest daughter who had just entered her teens doesn’t listen to him anymore and is obsessed with her phone and circle of friends. I would have passed the story lightly and attributed it to the failure of family structure in the American value system but I could hear the ring of true concern in the voice of that helpless father. He was sincere and his concerns were pretty much real and it disturbed me to think that one of these days I shall probably face a situation like that.
Maybe I am being a little paranoid here but then I have personally known people who would sweetly and easily lie to their folks and do things I am sure their parents would have never approved of, all in the name of friendship.
Very often we live ‘in the moment’ and lose track of the larger scheme and real objectives in life. You may want to go out and be there with a friend from school and give him/her a priority over your studies or lessons today but the chances are that in the long run, most of these people who you see on a daily basis today would be lost to the realms of time and the paths of their own individual lives. Also, my advise to you would be to try and remain unaffected by people who make you look bad today. There is a very good chance that you shall not even see those people ever again in a few years.
No matter how many friends you make over the years there are eventually only three friends that you can and should rely upon – your heart that can tell you what is the right thing to do, your wisdom which can put together a plan to work upon and your hands which would eventually execute your plan. Trust me, no other friend or soul would ever come as close.
You are about 18 months old as I write this letter to you and already have a group of playmates and friends you enjoy playing with. We, as your parents can perhaps choose this and perhaps next few sets of your playmates and pals for you but I guess in a matter of few years, we shall find ourselves alienated on more than one ground and on one of these days you would set out to explore your world on your own.
When that happens, you shall always come across two sets of people – one who would call you and track you day in and out and talk all day long with you but who perhaps won’t be able to come and stand by you when you need a shoulder to lean on and another who would perhaps speak to you once or twice in an year but they would always be around when you look for someone to call upon. I am sure, I don’t need to add which type of people are worth holding on to.
Right now, your mom spends her maximum time with you. She takes care of your needs and teaches you stuff and plays with you and I try and pitch in as much as I can. We, as parents who are the epicenter of your universe right now, would soon outlive our ‘utility’ for you and in a few years you would perhaps be as knowledgeable as us, if not more. While I shall let your mom set the tone of rules about the house and discipline you, I would try and be your pal as long as I can keep pace with you. I have mentioned before in one of my other letters to you that I shall always have time to listen to you and hear you out. Whenever doubt engulfs your thoughts and you are unsure of the right thing to do, you shall always find me waiting on you ready to help, if you need any. Hope you grow up to be wise enough to see through the fabric of people and know and realize who your real friends are.
With this thought, let me conclude this letter and with a picture of you with your current peer group.
Love,
Dad.
